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Company Christmas Gifts / Bonuses?

michael posted about 12 years ago | from the lump-of-coal dept.

Christmas Cheer 1330

A wisely anonymous reader writes "Following my company's Christmas party on Friday, I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO! Needless to say I was PISSED. They didn't even comp. parking at the site of the party, let alone a bonus. yeah, yeah, times are tough. I should be happy just to have a job. but getting a damn doll of the guy who made 65 million last year just makes me angry. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

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Continuing the First Post Quest (-1)

FirstPostRobot1 (631217) | about 12 years ago | (#4894106)

The success rate [slashdot.org] of the First Post Robot is improving! But it could be better.

So, should the First Post Robot be open-sourced? Or would that defeat the whole purpose? (What is the purpose?) Submit your answer in the Journal.

Generated by FirstPost! version 1.2.4

eaaaaa (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894108)

two days old!

At HP..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894110)

We got 2.3% for good profits. Thats all....we didn't even have a party.

At Philips Semiconductors... (1)

n9hmg (548792) | about 12 years ago | (#4894233)

Pink slips. Not all around, but still, Merry Fscking Christmas. Feel free to use that to grab some points on fuckedcompany.com.

Work (4, Funny)

jbf (30261) | about 12 years ago | (#4894111)

Enough to be stuck in the office on a Sunday evening.

2 Years ago, Last year, This year. (5, Interesting)

roseblood (631824) | about 12 years ago | (#4894229)

2 Years ago everyone (elves and management) had a nice banquet. Last year the elves got a $10 allowance to spend on the meal of choice at a local eatery (Red Lobster) while management were given a nicer banquet (ritz carlton) with an open bar. This year the elves got cards (we did get those the last 2 years as well) while management had a summer cruise for their "early xmas party" and a fully paid for meal/open bar at the local macarooni grill. Things get better for management, not so good for the elves.

iPod!!! (5, Interesting)

TiMac (621390) | about 12 years ago | (#4894112)

I don't know what I'll get (if anything), but what I *want* is an iPod. Go to the Apple Store and click on iPod....it seems Apple offers discounts on iPods for companies that give them as gifts! C'mon boss!!!!

Re:iPod!!! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894164)

Heh, funny, everyone in the department got an ipod at our xmas party, very cool :)

Re:iPod!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894244)

Heh, my dept got ours about 2 months ago .. we needed some portable firewire backup drives and the 20gb version seemed to fit the bill .....

Re:iPod!!! (2)

IamTheRealMike (537420) | about 12 years ago | (#4894264)

$300 a piece for the cheapest?? I don't see any mention of discounts. Even so, if your company can afford to give away that much stuff to its employees then tell us where you work!!

Could be worse... (1)

Nefrayu (601593) | about 12 years ago | (#4894113)

Last year I got laid off for Christmas.

Re:Could be worse... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894148)

Last year I got laid off for Christmas.

Last year I got laid

Re:Could be worse... (2, Funny)

mehfu (451236) | about 12 years ago | (#4894155)

Well, last year I got laid for christmas.

Last week she left me...

A Philishave would be nice, though.

voodoo (5, Funny)

doofusclam (528746) | about 12 years ago | (#4894114)

Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!

Re:voodoo (5, Funny)

saskboy (600063) | about 12 years ago | (#4894206)

I'd sell it on eBay. It could turn into a lot of money after all.

Hey, I managed to sell an empty, used, chewed BIC pen. CEO bobble heads could be pricesless...

Christmas bonus - why? (5, Insightful)

ColdGrits (204506) | about 12 years ago | (#4894115)

So what makes you think you shoudl have the automatic right to DEMAND a Christmas "bonus"?

What exactly have you done that is so special and above what you are paid to do that justifies your expectation of extra pay purely because it is december?

Genuine question.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (3, Insightful)

lordscarlet (304417) | about 12 years ago | (#4894152)

I believe the issue is that money was spent on him, but it was worthless. He would much rather see money on his paycheck than a bobblehead of the CEO that is going straight into the garbage.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894168)

IMHO, a Christmas bonus is a way for your company to let you know that you're appreciated.

Receiving a bobble head of the CEO isn't a way to let someone know you're appreciated... I'd take it more as a gag gift. Sounds to me like the CEO's rubbing it in everybody's face, personally... though it might depend on his personality.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894172)

I don't know about the poor sod who wrote the little rant to start with, but a bobble head doll of the CEO?

That isn't a bonus, it is a damnable insult. The idiot who came up with that rather than nothing has an obvious death wish.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (1)

ckuhtz (87644) | about 12 years ago | (#4894196)

shoot, why bother paying anyone at all. hey, it's just money.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894219)

Two things:

1.) A lot of salaried people work a whole helluva lot of overtime, especially towards the end of the year. They don't get overtime or anything for this because it's just 'part of their job'. It's not unreasonable to want to get a bit of compensation for that extra work.

2.) There are some companies who are doing better now-a-days (like mine) than they were a year ago. This is often a result of hard workers within the company. Reward us.

I never expect one, but I'm pleasantly surprised if I do get one.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894251)

You sound like a business major to me. What exactly is it that you do at all? I've never seen anything a business guy did that an Engineer couldn't do (better) in his spare time. Maybe you ought to shut the fuck up until you've actually done real work. It's people like you who want Enron to cook books so that thousands of people who actually do work get fired.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (3, Insightful)

s20451 (410424) | about 12 years ago | (#4894252)

By any chance have you read this [amazon.com] ? It might answer your question.

Re:Christmas bonus - why? (5, Insightful)

LostCluster (625375) | about 12 years ago | (#4894262)

Distributing a bobblehead of the CEO is self-serving of the CEO rather than anything that is of value to the employees.

Whatever they spent on the design and making of such thing has to be seen as wasted spending. It did not relate the the product of the company, and it likely hurt the company's ability to retain employees.

The Christmas bonus is a concept in which the owners of the company give to the employees money that they don't have to because that giving inspires goodwill between the employees and the company. Employees who like their present employer are less likely to start looking for ways to jump to the competition or into another field.

For the company to say "Sorry, times are tough, we can't afford a bonus/party/gift" is acceptable if it's true. For the CEO to flaunt his ability to spend company money on his own image while saying that times are tough is an action that is so loud it drowns out his words.

If we're lucky... (5, Funny)

jhughes (85890) | about 12 years ago | (#4894116)

We wont get laid off

I got cool stuff. (0)

danbeck (5706) | about 12 years ago | (#4894118)

I got a Sony Clie. Beat that! =)

Regiving (5, Funny)

n3rd (111397) | about 12 years ago | (#4894120)

Paint on some cuts, bruises and put a bunch of blood around the neck like he was decapitated. Then give it back to him.

Maybe he'll get the message then.

h0h0h0h0 (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894124)


So... What did you get from your Company... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894126)

So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

First Post?

Get some pins (1)

nzyank (623627) | about 12 years ago | (#4894127)

..they make good voodoo dolls. fill it with pins and leave it in front of the guy's door. Maybe he'll get a clue.

I think I made out fairly well.. (2, Informative)

Planetes (6649) | about 12 years ago | (#4894128)

My company is a small company (20+ employees) but we all got $500 christmas bonuses and our individual performance bonus for the year (mine was $500). Made for a nice addition. It helped me buy my books for the spring semester. (Engineering books can be very expensive)

Aerospace Engineering major
University of Central Florida - Orlando

Re:I think I made out fairly well.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894256)

I just started at my new job a week ago, and they gave me a $200 bonus! I couldn't believe it.


got nothing (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894130)

zip, nada, zilch, nunca, nil

A bobble head CEO doll? (3, Insightful)

RealBeanDip (26604) | about 12 years ago | (#4894131)

Gimme a freakin' break!!! I can't imagine what goes through someones head to think that someone else might possibly want a bobble head doll in their likeness!

jack shit (1)

chunkwhite86 (593696) | about 12 years ago | (#4894133)

I got nothing from my company for the holidays except a pink slip. They probably needed to give the damn CEO a few extra million as a holiday bonus. I'm so glad that the loss of my job could help in reaching that goal.

greedy fucks.

What I got (5, Funny)

Joe Jordan (453607) | about 12 years ago | (#4894134)

. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

the shaft.

Re:What I got (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894240)

What're you, a pr0n star?

you have a job (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894136)

I couldn't give a flying fuck about any gift, just having a job would be fine for me.

Loadsa money! :) (0)

grumwsmith (612309) | about 12 years ago | (#4894137)

I got loads of money from my company for working really hard and achieving so much.

You should try it sometime.. :)

nothing (1)

unterderbrucke (628741) | about 12 years ago | (#4894138)

I don't work, sucker!

Re:nothing (0)

Cheesy Fool (530943) | about 12 years ago | (#4894176)

I want to be like you when I grow up.

I got a quarter bag... (5, Funny)

NineNine (235196) | about 12 years ago | (#4894143)

... and a new "tobacco water pipe". Of course, I am the boss. I just hope that I don't decide to start randomly drug testing myself.

Re:I got a quarter bag... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894220)

Just wanted to thank you. Yesterday I accidentally hit a goatse.cx link, and you site helped me forget that unfortunate experience.

Posting anonymously to not scare away my friends =P

We got laid off... (1)

motorsabbath (243336) | about 12 years ago | (#4894145)

... as of some time in January. Oh well, some time off...

That BITES (3, Informative)

nbvb (32836) | about 12 years ago | (#4894147)

You know, it would've been better if they had given you nothing at all.

Really. Suctitiude.

What did we get for Christmas? Nothing. The company decided to host the annual "Holiday Party" (It's not a Christmas party, let's not be offensive!) in the company cafeteria.

Feels like I'm back in high school .... I wouldn't go to that if they paid me for it.

Instead, one of my vendors (a Sun reseller) is taking us out on a cruise around Manhattan island. Now *THAT'S* nice!

And bonuses? We don't get holiday bonuses; instead we get "merit-based" bonuses at the end of the 1st quarter, based on our performance last year. My target is 10% of my salary, but my bonus typically ranges in the 5-6% range -- nobody ever gets their full target percentage. That wouldn't be fair to the bell curve!

So I can't really complain. Sure, they went cheap on the holiday party, but my Sun sales rep & friends are the folks I want to have a few drinks with anyway! At least I'm still employed, and hopefully our 1Q bonuses will be good this year -- we had the best 3rd quarter on record, ever. Added 1.1 million customers ... not shabby :)


Don't you get it? (5, Funny)

labratuk (204918) | about 12 years ago | (#4894149)

That was a Voodoo Doll!

Or if you're unemployed (2, Redundant)

Gothmolly (148874) | about 12 years ago | (#4894151)

You get nothing, like me. Be glad you have a job.

Count yourself lucky... (3, Interesting)

IamTheRealMike (537420) | about 12 years ago | (#4894156)

that you got anything at all.

Where I work, I write software for all kinds of stuff, but get about 60p more per hour than when I was at the museum telling customers where the loos were. I have to work late each day next week to save up hours so we can have the afternoon off to go to a pub lunch. That is what we get for christmas. Nothing. Nada. No time off for the christmas lunch (which we are paying for). My dept isn't doing badly, but the others are finding it tough, hence the austerity measures.

Extra work (1)

DeadMoose (518744) | about 12 years ago | (#4894158)

I got ~60% of my team laid off, so those of us who survived the cuts get to make up for the missing headcount.

HAH! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894160)

Welcome to the new world, Neo.

Right now corporate america really sucks big time. Granted being of those currently employeed. Myself and my co-workers have been screwed over many times by management.

First stated a year ago that our 2001 bonuses would be delayed to only find out that the 2001 bonuses don't exist and the 2002 bonuses had been pushed off again.

The way I see it, management knowing about the "economic slow-down" feels that they can screw over the hands and heart behind their business. I mean for the many IT professionals out there, the logic is, where are you gonna go?

I dunno, but makes me think about going into retail...


A New Computer!!!!! (3, Funny)

jamesgregory (633886) | about 12 years ago | (#4894162)

3 of my clients pitched in and got me a new computer! It must have been that overused excuse that 'my computer crashed' and 'that's why the work isn't done yet'. Guess I have been reading too much slashdot ;)

Re:A New Computer!!!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894193)

So, why and how are your clients in contact with each other?

I got nothing this year. (1)

GuNgA-DiN (17556) | about 12 years ago | (#4894163)

Not a damn thing. No bonus. No gifts. Nothing.

But, I do have a job. So, I guess I got that going for me.

My job :-) (1)

msp0 (551914) | about 12 years ago | (#4894167)

Well, I got to keep my job after the latest round of lay-offs ... and I'm supposed to be grateful for that!!


Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894170)

lol (5, Funny)

l33t-gu3lph1t3 (567059) | about 12 years ago | (#4894171)

a pink slip, and the second thing i got in the mail was my tuition payment request. Dammit, I could've been a drug dealer for better pay, and hours, and perks...lol...

totally surprised.... (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894175)

...to get a gamecube from my boss yesterday. he told us not to expect this kind of gift every year, but wanted to really say thanks for taking a risk in joining what is essentially a brand new company.

Let me guess... (5, Funny)

moronga (323123) | about 12 years ago | (#4894177)

I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!

You work for Oracle?

You got a party?! (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894180)

My company sends me to the arctic each year for a ~month and we dont' get a party after our return or at the end of the year. While Greeland might be fun the first 5 years, it starts to get old.

My bonus.. (3, Interesting)

questforme (542772) | about 12 years ago | (#4894181)

All I want for Christmas is a FREAKIN JOB!! Been out of work since September..

Fired. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894183)


Same ol same ol (1)

Xformer (595973) | about 12 years ago | (#4894184)

We typically get a booby prize (food, etc. box) every year. And you're feeling cheated? :-)

uncle bill? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894185)

Who do you work for? Microsoft?

Be thankful (1)

glennrrr (592457) | about 12 years ago | (#4894186)

I've been out of work for coming up on 6 months.

muahhaha (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894188)

Are you kidding? That's a great gift! I mean, how thoughtful of them to give you a voodoo doll!

As a Hall Kinnion Contractor I Got ... (5, Funny)

johnatjohnytech (632978) | about 12 years ago | (#4894192)

Fully Vested Stock Options at $7 a share.

Now the stock is at 5.479

Guess what they are offering this year for contractors who work over 100 hours this holiday season.....

Re:As a Hall Kinnion Contractor I Got ... (1)

NineNine (235196) | about 12 years ago | (#4894224)

Hahahaha... I'm sorry to laugh, but that is pretty funny. Technically, taxwise, I think that they're taking money from you this Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Nothing (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894195)

I own my company, but I don't celebrate Christmas.

that's easy (0)

Neil Sausage (633803) | about 12 years ago | (#4894197)

A salary and white hairs by the age of 24. Still, I guess the bobbin head beats that just because they paid $10 per employee to have the CEO figuratively jizz on their faces. I may not enjoy my job that much but at least my employers don't actively try to remove my dignity.

Jelly (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894198)

I got enrolled in the Jelly of the Month club. There goes that pool I wanted... - C.W.G.

My bonus... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894199)

I got $500. Do I get a cookie or something?

A pen and a matchbox car! (2)

MrP- (45616) | about 12 years ago | (#4894200)

I got a company pen, and a matchbox brand toy car with the company logo on the roof.. Joy!

Christmas gift a few years ago (1)

bakkajin (226147) | about 12 years ago | (#4894201)

In 1998, I got as a gift from the television station that I work at we got a ornament with the station logo on it. I think everyone was suprised.

But in fairness, we also got a gift certificate to a grocery store.

well (1)

kingofnopants (600490) | about 12 years ago | (#4894202)

i got a pretty sweet bonus, a crappy t-shirt, and, believe it or not, some sort of Kenny g christmas collection cd (dunno, i haven't opened it yet). If i were the author i would rent a shotgun and get some bobble-head exploding satisfaction. Maybe i will use my bonus to get a few bobble-heads in the likeness of my boss...

I got a subscription (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894205)

To the jelly-of-the-month club

a pink slip (2)

r00tarded (553054) | about 12 years ago | (#4894210)

those fux0rs.

That's bad, but... (2)

jandrese (485) | about 12 years ago | (#4894211)

Check out some of the terrible gifts [somethingawful.com] people have gotten over the years. It's enough to make a grown man cry.

Christmas? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894213)

Bah, humbug!

Not very much at all... (1)

beamso (521336) | about 12 years ago | (#4894214)

So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas? A retrenchment. Oh, and a small cardboard box of tea. If only I drank the stuff.

We got bobbleheads too. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894217)

Our xmas party was on saturday and we got some bobbleheads too. We aren't getting any bonus either and we even had to pay for the xmas party! Our CEO made 200 million this year and managed to drive our stock price down to .04 cents from $14.00. Oh ya the company will probably be bankrupt by the end of the month! Damn weasels!

That's twisted! ... (2)

Hubert_Shrump (256081) | about 12 years ago | (#4894218)

a bobble head doll

Did it come with any accessories [realdoll.com] ?

get real (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894221)

You should be happy you got any bonus at all you lazy little bitch. You don't give a fuck about your employer, you just want to make some money. Likewise, your employer doesn't give a fuck about you, he just wants to make some money. If you aren't happy with your "bonus" then quit, it's a free market. You have no right to complain, there are people in China who don't even know what the word "bonus" means.

Nothing for us (2)

cheinonen (318646) | about 12 years ago | (#4894222)

I guess one downside of working for a non-profit organization is that we don't get any kind of Christmas bonus, but someone has to work to cure cancer, right? At least one company we buy supplies from gave us all $50 each at Amazon, my new rice maker should arrive this week.

Quit (5, Funny)

fobbman (131816) | about 12 years ago | (#4894230)

You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.

Out of curiosity, where do you work? What are the benefits like? Would they pay to relocate?

I got off better than you did! (2)

Richard_at_work (517087) | about 12 years ago | (#4894231)

Our company is *very* employee centric. They practically go out of their way to make sure the employees are happy, and try to build as much of a family feeling as anything. Last year, i had a few personal problems and a couple of the directors spoke to me and offered help from them personally and the company.

As to what i got, since ive been with the company for over 1 christmas, i get £100 cash bonus. NExt year i get a 13 monthes wage. Oh and also we had a free christmas party with a few free drinks etc. The company also does a yearly profit share.

Its a great company to work for.

XMAS (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894232)

I got concert tix on the floor (7th row center) of a big-name band and a $1500 bonus.

What the - ! (3, Interesting)

IIRCAFAIKIANAL (572786) | about 12 years ago | (#4894238)

Nothing entitles you to a christmas bonus, but nothing would have been better than a stupid toy. A bonus is a sign of respect for you as an employee and that shows a complete lack of respect.

Considering how the economy is right now, I expect you will see a bunch of "you're lucky you have a job" flames.

Incidently, I got turkey money - a gift certificate for a major supermarket chain. We usually get a bonus if the company sells a certain amount of product, but due to extenuating circumstances (drawn out price negotiations with a major customer which means we'll sell a lot of product next year but didn't hit our forecast at all this year) we won't be getting anything.

And we're fighting off a hostile takeover right now, so I may just get a pink slip for christmas (or have to move to another city, if I'm lucky).

Merry fucking Christmas everyone :)

our holiday bonuses (1)

feldkamp (146657) | about 12 years ago | (#4894241)

We get our holiday bonuses after the holidays, because it takes forever to get anything aproved through our parent company.

Nothin' like a christmas bonus in late January :)

I'm definately not complaining though... I count myself as lucky to be getting anything.

no gift is fine (2)

g4dget (579145) | about 12 years ago | (#4894242)

It's fine for the company not to give you a Christmas gift. But a bobble head doll is just in seriously bad taste.

let's see now.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894243)

i can get up to 5% of last year's salary as a bonus. Although, it's paid twice a year, so 2.5%. 75% is based on compay performance, 25% is based on dept goals. Did i mention that the dept goal wasn't announced until July? Did i also mention that the dept goals were unrealistic?

However, don;t like it? Quit and get a new job or start your own company and learn why 90% of businesses fail in their first 2 years.

unemployed (1)

drpatt (557639) | about 12 years ago | (#4894245)

What company???

I'm unemployed. (2)

autopr0n (534291) | about 12 years ago | (#4894247)

But the year before last I worked over xmas break and all I got was Jack Shit.

they gave me the slip (1)

mechaZardoz (633923) | about 12 years ago | (#4894249)

...pink that is

My advice is this (1)

Subcarrier (262294) | about 12 years ago | (#4894250)

I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!

Put the doll on your office desk, get yourself a wooden hammer, and use the doll as stress relief toy.

Incidentally, I got a new CEO for Cristmas.

S.F.A. (2)

Pig Hogger (10379) | about 12 years ago | (#4894253)

Sweet Fuck-All.

A possibility for engineers (2, Insightful)

Erik (4118) | about 12 years ago | (#4894257)

A fellow engineering student and I were laughing about this, and think we may have a way to derive some enjoyment from the bobble-head gift.

Say that the bobble head doll is six inches tall, and your CEO is six feet tall. This is just an approximation, as I don't have the fortune of either owning any bobble head dolls, or knowing your CEO. This gives us a 1:12 scale.

At this scale, a .22 caliber rifle is conservatively similar to a 25 mm anti-aircraft round. Any idea where I'm going with this?

Sure, the idea of shooting the thing has occurred to many others already, but it would be more interesting to make an engineering report out of it. Figure out what scaled distance you're shooting from, discuss material differences, apply these to difficulties which may be encountered in a more "real-life" setting, and you've got the makings of a great arrest and restraining order story. Videos could be used to further explicate the point, and different ammunition sizes experimented with to really explore the problem fully.

As a fictitious company I was part of this semester said, "We don't look for problems, we look for solutions".


Hey, at least you can throw your gift out... (1)

freerangegeek (451133) | about 12 years ago | (#4894258)

I got a pink slip, and unemployment checks.

Employer? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 12 years ago | (#4894265)

Christmas party? Present?

You lucky, lucky bastard.

Yikes! (1)

Eric(b0mb)Dennis (629047) | about 12 years ago | (#4894269)

A free scoop of ice cream!

Yeah, I can feel the envy already.... Working for baskin robbins has its perks ;)
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