Realistic Portrayals of Software Programmers? 874
lwbecker2 asks: "Warren Harrison has written a thought-provoking editorial piece on The Software Developer as Movie Icon. He explores the fact that new entrants to Computer Science curriculum are typically clueless about what 'real' developers actually do. While researching the issue of why this is the case, he determined that some potential CS degree seekers are forming opinions from portrayals in movies and cinema. He describes what he asserts to be inaccurate portrayals of developers in War Games, TRON, and The Net, and asks for input and opinions on 'the impact of the cinema and television on new software developers' expectations, as well as learn of any films that do a better job of portraying our profession...' I am sure Slashdot readers have some input on this, and I am curious if people believe _any_ movie has acurately portrayed software developers?"
office space jokes... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:office space jokes... (Score:3, Funny)
*Cough*Swordfish*Cough*
The average computer programmer does all of his programming at night, while drinking lots of wine??? (ewww hit the hard stuff already) and while hallie barry is naked in the room with you.
Oh and you have like 50 computer screens in front of you all showing rotating 3d objects. No...not for 3d development...for straight programming silly. Dont you have that C++ addon?
If you can get all the pretty shapes to align then you are done!
*cough*Office Space*cough* But you must keep all this a secret, last time I told my boss that he asked what real work I had got done in the last month and then fired me...but then i stayed and they kept moving my desk...but i kept my stapler.
Re:office space jokes... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:office space jokes... (Score:4, Funny)
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Would an eMac explode if you used VI to edit on it?
Re:office space jokes... (Score:5, Funny)
I got my interest in pursuing a CS degree when Tron came out. I wanted to make the MCP so it could kick everyone's ass.
I still can't figure out why no one likes the glow-in-the-dark frisbee I wear on my back every day. Its an icon of personal expression! I would be nothing more than a simple VB programmer without it!
OK, next question....if the MCP and HAL went head to head, who would win?
Re:office space jokes... (Score:4, Interesting)
That's a highly irregular question, Dave.
MCP wins for more spectacular death, HAL wins for more memorable death. Though I guess the Daisy bit wasn't really his death, that came with the whole Jupiter ignition thing...
Re:office space jokes... (Score:4, Funny)
It just blew my mind.
Ok, I'll go for one less obvious then (Score:3, Insightful)
Everyone forgets about that one. Although the focus was primarily on the charecter as a writer, he was *was* a full time writer of educational computer games.
I thought it was done rather well.
KFG
Office Space (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Office Space (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Office Space (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Office Space (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Office Space (Score:3, Funny)
Unfortunately, the main characters weren't typical programmers, but there was some reality mixed in there...
Re:Office Space (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Office Space (Score:5, Insightful)
Did you get the memo about the TPS report?
Re:Office Space (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Office Space (Score:4, Funny)
Thanks for being the 10th person today to remind me that I'm just like "the fat guy in Jurassic Park".
Pretty accurate (Score:3, Funny)
Or at least I wish they did. Office Space has the most accurate portrayal of programmers I've ever seen in a movie.
Re:Pretty accurate (Score:2)
Office Space (Score:2, Funny)
Michael... BOLTON?!?
Yes there is one... (Score:5, Funny)
Daniel
Re:Yes there is one... (Score:5, Interesting)
This pretty much nails it, here. Signal 11 said something on Slashdot a couple of years ago regarding this that I saved:
Couldn't have said it better myself. It's just hard to make this profession look interesting on the big screen.
got one... (Score:5, Funny)
duh. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:duh. (Score:5, Insightful)
Most cops aren't out there chasing down serial killers, most lawyers aren't fighting some evil corporation, and I doubt many spies blow up a whole lot of stuff. But movies about writing traffic tickets, filing divorce papers and staring at satellite photos aren't that exciting.
You've really got to get out a little more if you're basing career decisions on the movies.
Re:duh. (Score:5, Insightful)
This may explain why my taste in movies from Hollywood tends towards commedies (they're supposed to not represent reality) or fantasy (what reality?).
Not to mention the speed of sound (Score:3, Funny)
Re:duh. (Score:3, Funny)
I hope that clears some things up. Feel free to quote these rules when someone is bugging you throughout the movie trying to get you to explain what just happened and asking you incredulously if the bad guy or good guy is really dead.
Re:duh. (Score:3, Insightful)
There were a handful of well-documented atrocities against civilians [earlyamerica.com], but nothing on the scale presented in that film. The British were trained to conduct a very "civilized" style of warfare, and although this was stressed by the colonists' reluctance to wear uniforms, they never attacked obvious civilians.
In particular, the burning of a church [demon.co.uk] full of civilians is something that the forces of Vlad the Impaler and Adolf Hitler have both done, but the Redcoats would never consider such a thing.
What if I created a film about a real 14th centruy Pope, and had him conduct murderous Black Masses? Would that be OK? It would all depend on how it was portrayed. If an obvious fantasy, then it's fine. If I use it merely as the backdrop for some other story, and present those events as if they'd really happened, then I've committed a double wrong: my audience has been mis-educated, and the Vactican has been defamed.
"The Butcher" really did exist
The fact that he did exist makes more wrong. To create a fictional man to commit warcrimes is one thing. To invent major atrocities and assign them to a person who merely executed some prisoners is another. (His actions were somewhat defensible even by modern rules of war. "Spies"- combatants without uniforms- were often executed in 20th century combat)
You want to watch some guy wash colonial dishes for two hours? I sure don't.
We could watch some guy battle British troops for two hours. That really happened, and would be exciting. We could even exaggerate the hero's prowess, and let him play decisive role in every major battle. But the producer of "The Patriot" decided to underscore the hero's goodness by exaggerating his enemy's badness, and in so doing, libelled an entire nation.
What? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't think the portrayal is inaccurate at all. But then I'm an EE.
Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:5, Funny)
--sex [slashdot.org]
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:4, Insightful)
Its how you can almost bet that any car you need to make a getaway in, in a movie, is bound to need 3 minutes of engine turning to start
Can we ditch that cliche already, hollywood? Both of them?
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:4, Funny)
And what part of that statement are you saying is fiction?
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:5, Informative)
fsn stands for "file system navigator" - you can still get it from SGI here [sgi.com].
You need an old version of IRIX to run it (5.3) and I remember doing so back in the day. Basically you can "fly" through the filesystem hierarchy, and the vertical bars are the sizes of the files, colors are for age and the height of the base is the size of the directory.
Nothing you can't accomplish with du and ls, but great for impressing people in a movie :-)
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Most Accurate Portrayal of a Computer Award... (Score:5, Funny)
Everyone who's anyone knows that's the VI macro for 'turn on the power'
Sadly, (Score:5, Informative)
Office Space (Score:5, Informative)
I know a movie that accurately portrays me. (Score:3, Funny)
so what's new? (Score:5, Insightful)
Do westerns accurately depict cowboys?
Do war movies accurately depict soldiers?
Does pr0n accurately depict sex?
The list goes on...
Re:so what's new? (Score:5, Funny)
Yes. Duh. For me sex always involves at least 9 people, wives who don't care, and lots of toys, preferably of the mechanically driven kind. Oh, and people shaving one another. Gotta have that.
Doctors, Lawyers, and Cops (Score:5, Funny)
"Why not a show about engineers?" someone asked.
"Yeah, we could call it 'CR' - Conference Room! They could show us sitting around at boring meetings, eating doughnuts, writing emails and stuff..."
That's when we realized why there are no shows about engineers.
Re:Doctors, Lawyers, and Cops (Score:4, Insightful)
Go out and rent Apollo 13. It has some of the best engineers as hero scenes on film - complete with computers & slide rules.
Remember the scenes where they have to power up the frozen command module without going over budget on amperage? Yes, software development is sometimes like that - with severe constraints, painstaking work and testing - and rewarding results.
Re:Doctors, Lawyers, and Cops (Score:3, Funny)
"But Anderson, that bridge can't handle the load it's under!"
(Anderson pulls out duct tape and a slide rule)
"It will if *I* have anything to do with it"
(cue MacGyver style music)
Re:Doctors, Lawyers, and Cops (Score:3, Interesting)
MacGyver. MacGyver. All around geek and secret agent.
James Bond. Dante's Peak. Geologist.
Mike Brady. Brady Bunch. Architect.
Quinn Mallory. Sliders. Applied Physicist.
Ellie Arroway. Contact. Radio Astronomer.
Victor Frankenstein. Frankenstein. Biological Engineer.
Henry Mitchell. Dennis the Menace. Engineer.
Lionel Jefferson. The Jeffersons. Engineering Student.
Julian Wilkes. Viper. Engineer.
Chuck Noland. Castaway. Systems Engineer.
Chris McCormack. Eight Legged Freaks. Mining Engineer.
That's the best I can come up with :-)
That's why I love James Bond (Re:so what's new?) (Score:3, Interesting)
Whenever there's a computer on screen, I tell him: "Well, actually that's impossible" and why. Whenever there's a helicopter on screen, he tells me: "well, actually, no helicopter is capable of that" and why. Or: "See that Russian soldier? Well, he's using a rifle of the Isreali army, wrong equipment again."
Yeah, I know that it's just a movie, but we get the kicks out of it...
"Golden Eye" was an example, with its wonderful IBM product placement and unique chat software used by the geek and the bond girl. And virtually every modern Bond film includes an impossible or close-to-impossible helicopter stunt.
Re:so what's new? (Score:5, Funny)
Does pr0n accurately depict sex?
Are you kidding? For most people here, pr0n is sex.
Wait, you mean TRON wasn't accurate? (Score:2, Funny)
Oh wait, you aren't reffering to
Problem is story-telling, not stereotype (Score:4, Interesting)
Display a computer programmer that works out, or has a family, etc., that takes time out from the CG and explosions. It also confuses the stupid audience that flocks to the picture...
Having said that, I thought Hugh Jackman's programmer in Swordfish was presented as pretty cool, even the rest of the movie was totally goat.
They're always background characters. (Score:2, Insightful)
The fat hacker in Jurassic Park.
In enemy of the state there was some guy (Jack Black) in a van.
On and on...
"Antitrust" is the only one that's even come close (Score:3, Informative)
Comment for Mr. Harrison and all CS students... (Score:2)
well.... (Score:2)
10: Get tinfoil
20: Apply to head
30: Return to 10
Generally,nobody is portrayed accurately in movies (Score:2)
Accurate portrayal of people's real life jobs in movies would just be boring anyway.
Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Score:2, Funny)
It's not just programmers (Score:4, Insightful)
If you look to films and television for career guidance, chances are you wouldn't make a good programmer anyway.
Not developers, but how real-life projects... (Score:2)
Life of a Software Programmer (Score:5, Insightful)
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
Make it like Star Trek (Score:5, Funny)
The Hollywood portrayal could be worse, you know. Just imagine if they portrayed debugging like a ST:TNG episode, complete with flashing red alert lights and lots of noises:
Picard: What's our status?
Data: The process is attempting to completely allocate all available memory and CPU cycles.
Worf: Available memory is down to 50%. 40%...
Picard: Suggestions?
Riker: Perform a break. Try to find out what happened.
Picard: Make it so.
Data: Ctrl-C was not successful. Process is still consuming resources.
Worf: 30%, 20%...
Wesley: Captain, this may be due to an incorrect check in the while loop...
Picard: Shut up, Wesley!
Geordi: Captain, we're losing segmentation containment. We've got to dump the core!
Worf: ...10%...
Picard: All hands, this is the Captain! All hands, log out! Repeat, all hands log out!
Kaboom! Blue screen of death.
GMD
*Sigh* (Score:2)
So once again we take the opinions or ideas of the Galactically Stupid, and assume that it is a problem for the population in general. Nice job.
Real Geeks (Score:2)
Forget Office Space, all geeks look like this [mugshots.org]
RevolutionOS (Score:3, Insightful)
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0308808
Swordfish! (Score:2)
pet peeve (Score:2)
wouldn't be as cool...
Too Late to Change Perception (Score:5, Funny)
Me and God have to have a little talk.
Re:Too Late to Change Perception (Score:4, Funny)
So from then on, in your minds eye, every overweight person is just an extension of that fat bastard who dripped butterscotch ripple and sweat on you in grade one and left you emotionally scarred till the end of your days...
just a guess...
Seems to me... (Score:2)
AntiTrust (Score:2)
unless... maybe RMS should watch his back, eh?
Realistic (Score:2, Insightful)
Weird Science?
startup.com (Score:5, Informative)
It was a documentary, and it was real people, but what do you want, another Office Space comment?
Actually, a pretty accurate portrayal of a programmer in a movie was in Pump Up the Volume, even though he ran a pirate radio station and wasn't a programmer. He worked out of his parent's basement, was a loner, and had a different on-air personality than in real life.
Antitrust (Score:2)
Alot of misrepresentation in movies (Score:5, Insightful)
Most people have some idea of what a cop is. They know what the army does. They can identify a firefighter in uniform nine times out of ten.
Outside of the computer industry, nobody knows what a programmer is. They don't know that there's more to computers than Windows, so why should they know about computers?
One portrayal that annoys my wife and me is the portrayal of people in chemical/microbiological suits. The suits always look good on the actors. My wife works in one (she studies ebola). It's a big blue vinyl bag. Not form-fitting. It tends to make you look like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man. It's uncomfortable. You have to shout to be heard in them.
So remember, programmers are not the only groups misrepresented. We're probably not the most misrepresented group. Next time you watch a show that includes any real-life profession, ask yourself how close they are to reality. Then complain about programmers being misrepresented.
Re:Alot of misrepresentation in movies (Score:4, Funny)
I'd watch it so I'd know when a @#$)(^@ cop was about to ticket my car!
Re:Alot of misrepresentation in movies (Score:5, Funny)
my personal hacker movie list (Score:4, Informative)
this is ridiculous. (Score:4, Funny)
here's a day in my life... (Score:5, Funny)
i usually roll out of bed around 11 or noon (up all night clubbin wit da ladies!) and drive to work in my brand new hummer, completely disregarding traffic signals, speed limits and roads in general. assuming there arent any high speed chases with the bad guys on the way, i make it in to work in time for the boss to yell at me again for "violating protocol" again! im such an eXtreme programmer and i do things my way! thats about when the terrorists show up to the building to take my girlfriend hostage, forcing me to have to fight them all with my bare hands and the occasional uzi taken from fallen enemies (everyone else is taken hostage too, so im the only one that can fight). since im so ripped, i can streetfight anyone and win easily! at around 4 or 5 pm i manage to get to the leader and fight him to the death at the top of the building, throwing him off in the process. once i get my woman back, we get it on and then im off to the clubs for the night! but trouble arises at the club......
oh wait, you want honesty? well heres honesty: unless its a comedy, dont make movies about software developers!
Well... (Score:4, Insightful)
Also, while War Games obviously wasn't 100% accurate, it was definitely more realistic than the Net, Hackers and a lot of other movies featuring programmers.
Movies aren't even meant to be 100% accurate, they're meant to be entertaining, it just happens that Firefighting and law enforcement are professions that are more entertaining than computer programming so they have to be changed less. Even those professions aren't portrayed accurately though like the article claimed, firemen spend most of their time waiting for fires, not putting them out and when they do put out fires more often than not they don't actually have to save people. Cops are the same way, they're not usually doing drug busts, catching robbers, using their keen investigative wit, going on high speed car chases, getting in shootouts or anything, most police work is driving around and filing papers.
Re:Well... (Score:3)
I'll second that. How many other movies are that that devote that much time to researching the target system to figure out the password? Any other movie would have just run a fancy graphical version of crack. I mean, sure, some of the technology (like Joshua, and the graphics capabilities of an IMSAI) was made more Hollywood, but I think the character depictions were dead on.
Oh, and Lightman, good thing you didn't try to swim: skinny geeks like us sink like rocks.
-"Zow"
Archaeology has the same problem. (Score:5, Insightful)
Then again, the intro level courses are to weed out people who aren't ready for the rigors of a given dicipline.
Dolemite
Re:Archaeology has the same problem. (Score:4, Funny)
Dude, you're only supposed to take the intro once!
scientists (Score:3, Insightful)
"Real" jobs are seldom shown correctly in movies or TV. How many lawyer/cop/hospital shows are there?
However, even though the jobs aren't shown realistically, is that necessarily wrong? Didn't watching "Voyage of the Mimi" make you want to get into oceanography? Watching "Mr. Wizard" make you want to blow things up? Seeing "101 Dalmations" make you want to get a dalmation? (okay, maybe not, but dalmation sales did increase after the movie was re-released.)
My point is, maybe TV and movies don't show a realistic view of programming/chemistry/life in general. Every job, in some way, involves banging your head against the wall and filling out paperwork for some reason or another.
I'm not advocating lying about what your job really entails, but isn't it a good thing if you can get kids interested in something?
Charlie's Angels (Score:3, Funny)
I remember watching that at about the exact same time our own tech team was denied free sodas by our pigfarking CTO.
Thanks Hollywood.. (Score:4, Insightful)
I was (and still am) quite disappointed. My first assumptions about Law were based on movies, which, if you ask any Lawyer, are dramatized to the point of fiction.
Much is the same with Technology. Anyone who's sat through Hackers will tell you how much of a (bad) joke it really is. The other great example is Swordfish, when Hugh Jackman hacks into a computer system in 60 seconds, at gunpoint, with a woman giving him head. Come on
The point is this: Anyone who wishes to join any professional field should realize that work takes effort. If a movie gives you inspiration and/or a desire to look further into something you find interesting, fantastic. Seek out what you dream and live it. But be prepared to find something a little less idealized, something a bit more down to earth.
Independance Day! (Score:5, Funny)
Documentary (Score:4, Insightful)
This is about engineers, but might be a good taste.
I was also thinking that perhaps placing some web-cams in a computer lab around the deadline for large projects would be interesting. In my software engineering courses, the groups of students working together going back and forth is a great example of what software development ends up being like.
Seriously, people in STS programs should be taking this as a hint, more studies please!
What would you prefer? (Score:5, Funny)
"Computer science is clearly a field for people with enormous anuses, way too much time on their hands, hot grits down their pants, and a homosexual lust for cowboys."
Of course, this isn't too far off the mark from CMU.
Software Programmers hardly alone (Score:3, Insightful)
Car's don't blow up with a single gunshot and rarely in a crash and you can't throw away the laws of physics when having a fight or shooting weaponry.
They're movies, get over it. I doubt any doctors or lawyers find their roles portrayed particularly accurate either.
What I do (Score:3, Interesting)
There is a time period in coding where one, sooner or later, has all the knowledge ready to spill out from their fingertips, and the screen(s) are setup for maximum coding output. It's in this time that I've been simply focused to the bone on some problem, wheel invented or not. This is a point of headphone blaring, slouching tapping and screen flipping that looks completely boring to an observer. In team jobs, it can be even more fun.
I don't think the movies would ever WANT to depict this strange ritual.
Speaking as a Jedi.... (Score:5, Funny)
Speaking as a Jedi, I have to say, the movie portrayals are quite unrealistic, but frankly, it's the only way to get new members.
I mean, for every trade negotiation that turns into an assassination attempt and daring escape from a battle fortress, there are thousands that are just plain boring; you sit around, listen to proposal and counter-proposal repeated verbatium for hours, until somebody changes something a whit, repeat, for a few weeks, then you break up for consultations.
For every five minutes you get to duel with a Sith Lord, you spend YEARS doing the sword-technique equivalent of sitting at a keyboard, typing 'jjj[space]fff[space]jjj[space]fff[space]'
Anywho, I don't mean to get off on a rant here, but the life of your typical Jedi is NOTHING like those flashy bastards you see in the movies.
Do you really want them to know? (Score:4, Funny)
I enjoy getting paid more because people are a little scared and a little bit intimidated by us. Letting them peek behind the curtain isn't a healthy career move.
ID4? (Score:3, Funny)
Or perhaps Joe Morton's Miles Dyson from Terminator 2? Working with a team to reverse engineer a foreign piece of technology. Working long hours, forsaking his family for the project, always spending time on his computer. Also, completely ignoring the possible ramifications of his actions because the possible breakthroughs and creativeness are too tempting. Not to mention that he's observed the security measures at his place of employment and thought of ways to circumvent them.
Or how about Demon Seed? Ok, maybe that wasn't quite so accurate for 1977...
Re:ID4? (Score:4, Funny)
Inaccurate? I don't think so! (Score:4, Funny)
These movies PRECISELY describe what I do all day. Why, right this minute, I'm typing on one of my 8 totally custom made keyboards suspended in the air around me by a complex system of racks and harnesses, while glancing from side to side at the 21 monitors hanging around my control chair (with power swivel), and protecting my neon-lit plexiglass-cased server from being attacked by rogue agents and crackers going after the kernel! I'm regularly stopped by agents in expensive suits and 400 dollar Ray-Bans on the street and threatened about my attempts to bring down the national infrastructure with my super password cracking program that, if released, would allow instant access to every system on the planet. And don't even get me started with my super intense VR room in the back that let's me have hyper-realistic "intimate encounters" with my computer-generated love slave(s).
I think we need to lift the veil of secrecy surrounding our profession and let the world know that we absolutely have the best fucking jobs on the planet.
-Oakbox
SHHHHHH! (Score:5, Funny)
Accurate Portrayal (Score:5, Funny)
Been there, lived through it..
A portrayal of my life would be pretty
Follow me through Sunday evening and Monday..
---- Sunday Evening.
Sunday, 6pm.. Coding new authentication module for Apache..
20 minutes reading (from my personal O'Reilly library, dejanews, and the very few sites that may have clues to what I'm doing).
30 minutes writing.
5 minutes reading work
2 seconds deciding I didn't like parts of it, and deleting 90%
drink a beer.
[lather;rinse;repeat] for the next 8 hours. On the weekend. Like, when I'm not even supppose to be working.
Pager beeps at 2am. One server with 6 months of uptime is unreachable.
Log into server. It's running.
Check httpd processes, they're running.
Try browsing to server, it's unreachable.
30 seconds scratching head.
Kill all httpd processes. Restart web server, check error logs. Starts normally.
Try browsing to server. It's unrecachable.
Reboot server (for spite).
2 minutes drinking beer.
Server's back up, still can't browse to it.
netstat -a -n
Oh look, one IP has 10,000 connections from a university in Russia (212.96.201.28, for those really interested)
verify TCP_SYNCOOKIES enabled. yup.
Check logs. No entries for that IP.
Drop traffic that
Browse to site. It works.
Drink more beer. Go to bed at 3am
---------
Monday morning.
Wake up late.
9am Drag my happy ass into office.
9:20 discussion of what happened, and what we can do to prevent it happening again. I suggest going into used car sales.
10:00 arrive at my desk.
10:01 users start asking for their forgotten Email or FTP passwords.
10:20 start back on authentication module.
10:21 phone call forwarded from support.
10:45 hang up on support call. I hate users.
10:50 start back on authentication module.
10:51 "Urgent" help needed for other people's broken CGI's.
11:45 Finish fixing really shitty CGI's.
11:46 decision: module or smoke.. Choose smoke. Can't find cyanide cigarette, choose cloves instead.
12:00 back to desk with sandwich in hand.
12:00.01 Can you help this guy on line 3?
12:15 get rid of guy on phone. Unwrap sandwidth.
12:16 "My computer has a blue screen, can you help me". Decision: shoot user, or hit reset for them.
12:17->12:30 listen to user cry because they had some important program open, and I lost it. I'm so evil.
12:31 pick up sandwidth
12:31.0001 phone rings. Boss wants to talk about last night. I remind him I sent an Email on it. He asks for his Email password.
12:45 I reach for the sandwich. "important" customer walks in, asking for changes to his site. I point to my sandwich. He says it'll only take a minute.
1:30 {sigh} I look longingly at my lunch. Quickly I scribble on a post it "Comitted Suicide, memorial next week", and put it on my door. Phone stays outside the door too.
1:31 the first bite of my sandwidth.. MMmmmmm.. Almost as good as street meet, with less rodent parts.
1:35 all gone? I'm still hungry.
1:36 begin work on authentication module.
1:37 boss walks in (didn't he read the note?), wants to know why I haven't finished the authentication module.. And then throws another task at me that's more urgent.
3:30 more urgent task done. Back to authentication module.
3:35 parts arrive for servers that we've been waiting for, for 2 weeks. Delegate work. Spend the next half hour explaining how to do 5 minutes work.
4:15 smoke. smoke. smoke. it's oddly quiet. No phones, no users. I wonder if I can bring my laptop down here.
4:30 authentication module. I still haven't written one line yet, but I'm trying..
4:31 Boss comes in screaming, I think one of the networks is slow. Spend the next hour justifying the fact that nothing is slow, enforced with transfer rates and ping times.
5:30 smoke.
5:45 contemplate suicide. Go back to office anyways. Start working on authentication module.
5:50 girlfriend calls. "Why don't you love me, you never spend time with me."
6:20 finish with girlfriend. Take elevator to top floor to find out roof access is locked (smart people).
6:30 go home.
So, today I accomplished exactly *NOTHING*.
That's my typical fuckin' work day.
I've gone as far as to put the phones outside my office door (including cell), put a big note explaining that I'm on an important project and to leave me alone. I then lock and barracade the door. That'll get the boss banging on the door within 5 minutes. {sigh} After asking if I'm ok, and why I did it, he then asks if the project is done..
I tried working from home one day, because there was a project that needed to be completed (the boss wanted it immediately).. The boss insisted that I keep my phone on, in case there were emergencies.. I took 68 calls from the office that day.
I can't win.
I may as well be doing TPS reports with fish flavored cover sheets.
Re:Swordfish... (Score:2)
You could, but I changed the password when I installed the rootkit.
Re:Sweet Mother of crap (Score:4, Funny)
I don't understand. Are you saying that nerf guns aren't cool?
Alright, boys - take away his geek license.